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November 6, 2012.  The day we became licensed as a family foster home.  Wow!  After dropping the kids at a wonderful friends' home, we headed to the agency office to review our home study for any potential errors, and sign contracts.  

This is the fourth home study report about ourselves we have read, and they are always hilarious.  Really, it's so funny to read what the social worker gleaned from a few visits with you, and to see how they incorporate all the 'required' elements.  Social workers and physicians, alike, use the phrases "well groomed" and "nicely dressed" as ways of saying you aren't dirty and have the ability to keep a child relatively clean as it pertains to their health.  It's an important point, but it always makes me laugh.  I'm thinking, "You've never shown up at my house unannounced at 10am when I don't have to be anywhere until 12:30, have you?"  LOL!  We had a few great laughs as we spent 40 minutes reading and correcting typos, which branch of the military my father served through, spellings of family member's names, correct abbreviation for my home state, oh, and our vitals.  Yes, our heights, weights, colorings, etc. were switched.  I'm sure someone was looking at it thinking, wow, this woman is inches taller and pounds heavier than her husband and trying to picture us stretched or shrunk.  A funny sight came to mind for sure.

That complete, our home supervisor will make the changes, print out a final copy and file the final copy with DHS (who already has the unedited version).  I'm sure they'll get us a copy as well, for the funny file.  It's fun to show the kids what went on during the path to them.

We signed an education plan stating we will complete 20 hours of foster care specific training per year.  Our agency has 2 hours per month of education groups we can attend, so that's 24 if you can be there each month - child care provided.  (You're glad I helped you with that math, aren't you :-).  You can also do online training for a small fee at a specific website or do some approved reading.

Back to pick up the kids and home to cheer and cry over various election results.  Quite a day!

 
Wow!  What a month it has been.  We not only made it through, but enjoyed, eight nights of class, three hours each.  In addition to the paperwork previously listed, there were five more packets of Q&A, several additional forms, state rules and regs to read word-for-word, and more.  We have one more class - a Friday evening / all day Saturday class.  We will also begin our family interviews and home study this month.  If all goes well, we will be licensed as a family foster care home by early or mid October.

There is so much to share from our wonderful classes, but it may need to sink in a while longer.  If you've been to a professional continuing education course or a retreat of some sort, you know the feeling - so many amazing things to share with everyone at home, but you somehow don't even know where to start.  It will come in pieces, I'm sure.

One of the beautiful things about the classes is that our own children were able to attend with us, and spend the hours with other children and great staff playing and building their own friendships.  They are now very at home in our agency's building and really enjoy being there.  In our state, there is privatization of foster care, meaning that the state contracts not just directly with individuals, but with private agencies, who then contract with the foster families.  The wonderful thing about this is that our agency also employs our home supervisors, and provides significant support to the foster families in the form of training, support groups, family activities, and more.  This makes for better families and better homes for the kids.  Our agency also has a factory that makes it's own currency and items which can be purchased with this currency.  The names, the store, and everything about it are wacky and fun.  Kids earn this currency when in the building for any activities, for helping out in a myriad of ways, or through incentive programs.  They can then purchase items at the store.  The original kids of foster families are also included, which is fabulous.  These children may or may not be as excited as their parents to welcome new children to their home, give up half of their room or closet, or deal with the anxiety of the unknown.  A little prize always increases the fun factor.

This weekend, we'll be preparing our home for the home study - a bit more cleaning and organizing (although I know it won't be completely done ... does anyone else's spice cabinet, refrigerator, or coat closet just explode into complete disorder on a regular basis?  Second law of thermodynamics, anyone?) Among other things, Hubby will be adding the infamous child safety locks to all kitchen and bath cabinetry, while I'll be working on making the grandparent guest bed *not* look like it's four feet off the ground after we added risers underneath in efforts to find more storage space. (Suggestions?) The goal is to be at least comfortable with where things are (figuratively and literally) by the end of the weekend.  I'll have to make a list of everything we did to prepare the home once we're done.  (I like lists.  Did you notice?)  Have  a fabulous Labor Day weekend, and don't forget to show thanks for the opportunity to labor for our families and for the kingdom.
 
Our first training session was last night and I am exhausted.  It was a great class, but I have this problem.  After evening meetings, my brain is just turned ON.  I cannot get to sleep, even if I feel tired.  I want to discuss; hash it over, share the great points and the frustrations (if any).  I'm sure this drives my husband nuts when I come home from a meeting and he's ready to fall asleep.  At least this time, he was with me, so I have less to report.  In the end, I was up until 3am.  I'm trying to tell myself it's preparation for nights with children who don't sleep the night (which we did for 7.5 years straight, but not often the last two years), however, the cold turkey version of no sleep has left me flat out exhausted.  I really hope I'll be able to sleep after training tomorrow, or I'm in trouble.  I'm also very bad at naps - just can't fall asleep in the day.  The one to two times yearly I can nap, it ends up being a four hour slumber - also not convenient.  Just realized I'm writing about what's convenient for me. Hmm, definitely need sleep to function well, but possibly not looking at this the right way?  A little selfish perhaps?  Got it, God.  Point taken.  I'll push through and respectfully request some great sleep for tonight.

The great news from last night is that the training was really good.  Tuesday is parenting training and Thursday is legal/paperwork/etc.  I'll share more about the parenting training after we get through more, but it's fabulous.  The instructor (who is the developer of the program we'll use and agency CEO), is able to so clearly explain the generalized parenting needs of children who are removed from their original families or experience difficulties.  He put some principles into succinct statements - things I've been trying to express for some time - and I'm so glad to have these.  I really enjoy and am motivated by looking at how kids learn and how fear, frustration, and other emotions aren't expressed by children the way that adults express these emotions (and too often expect kids to do the same).  I'm excited for more and excited to have a place where I don't have to explain that "traditional" parenting book principles just don't work or aren't appropriate for our kids.

We'll receive a "little" more paperwork each Tuesday and are to have as much of it back on Thursday as possible.  FBI background checks can take 3-5 months and this really holds up licensing.  In addition to a full, 3" binder and a 195 page book that will need to be read this month, here's yesterday's additions to the "To Do" list ...

Tuesday 07 August 2012

Online Courses
            Pay for, download, complete readings and tests for these classes.  Turn in certificate of pass.  
                 Infants-Toddlers-Preschoolers:  An Overview of Child Development (4 credit hours)
                 Racial and Cultural Issues:  Parenting Children Across Racial and Cultural Lines (4 credit hours)

Background Check Packet:
            Facilities Inquiry
            Copies of driver’s Licenses
            Copies o fauto registrations
            Copies of auto Insurances
            Copy of marriage license
            Copy of income tax return
            Floor plan of your home with rooms labeled.  Each floor on different page.

Fingerprinting:
            Take fingerprinting card to police station downtown.  
               Wait in line for an estimated 2 hours.  
                   Pay them.  
                       Have them place your prints on said card.
                            Return card to agency who will process and send in to ... someone somewhere.

DHS "MLS"
              Create a Family Profile - written and one photo for the Department of Human Services family listing.  DHS can       
               use this to match kids needing care to your family, trying to ensure success for both the family and the child.

CPR
           Copy and turn in my BLS card (that means find it first).
           Hubby sign up for, pay for, and take a five hour class this month.

Physician Physical for any Adults in the House
            Husband: Schedule and turn in date
                       Have physician complete form and turn in.
            Wife: Schedule and turn in date
                       Have physician complete form and turn in.


Oh, and stay awake and don't forget to feed your family in the process LOL!.  Water and weed the garden.  Get another closet cleaned out.  Keep working on collecting necessary baby gear.  Take kids to first week or two of summer/fall activities.  Spend time with husband.  Educate children.  Exercise.  Sleep.  Nurture children.  Work 1/2 Friday-full Saturday-full Sunday- 1/2 Monday.  Clean.  We'll see about that last one ;-)      


 
Monday morning (July 30, 2012), we hurried out the door to Office Max to make a copy of our paperwork packet before my mom's book study (Sally Clarkson's Mission of Motherhood - thanks Sally & thanks CW!).  I knew if we stayed on task we could make copies, drop off the paperwork at H&H and get to my friend's house with plenty of time to spare.  Well, I realized it's been a while since I took our son to make copies.  He needed to know how every little thing worked, the purpose of every button, why the various machines were not the same, and what the advantages were to different copy machine designs.  Been there?  Ever wanted to call for 'no questions', but simultaneously love an inquisitive mind?  Yep.  Answered the best I could (I'm not an office machine engineer) and was ready to leave.  At this point, our daughter, who had been diligently studying the advertising flier, points out a few things.  Backpacks for 1¢???  Must ... go ... look!  It was a Max Perks reward, so you had to spend the money up front and get all but 1¢ back as a gift card, but hey, 1¢, I'm in!  We'll use the gift card up for sure.  The kids' current backpacks are still in decent shape, but I love having different bags for different activities - one for dance, one for swimming, etc.  Saves this mama soooo much time and energy.  We can also pass along their "younger" backpacks to the little ones who come to our home.

Office supply store trip complete, we headed to H&H, dropped off the paperwork and up to my study.  Later in the day, we received an email from someone at the agency.  It stated she had received our paperwork, and asked "if" we are approved, could we begin classes next week? "If"?  Uh oh.  Those of you who know me realize that, at times, doubt creeps in.  I had truly never considered we might not be approved.  I know she had to say that, because, one really does need to be approved, but the little doubter voices kept creeping in.  Now, I'm a million times better at getting rid of self-doubt than I was 10 years ago; even five.  Still, I'm human.  One of the three directors was out of town and a second was leaving Wednesday (August 1), so they had to review our file prior to that.  Whew!  Only two days.

Wednesday afternoon, August 1 rolled around and no news.  I know what you're thinking (as was I) - how do you expect to do foster care if you can't wait without a known deadline?  True.  And I really do get that.  However, this was different (humor me). This was not reliant on the courts or a birth family.  With a director leaving on vacation, if it wasn't completed, we couldn't attend this months classes, and I just had to know.  We aren't able to do all the classes in September due to out of town medicals and participation in a research study, so that was going to put off our start until October.  Not what I wanted.  I was patient [insert applause].  Later that day, I did send an email to ask, given the director's vacation, when we would know about approval so that I could make arrangements for the next weeks' classes should we be asked to attend. (Take back applause if need be).  A few minutes later, I received an email with this ...

"Very happy to report that [name1] (our CEO) and [name2] (program director) have approved your application not only with no reservations, but with great anticipation for the skills and experience you will bring! We will start class on Tuesday the 7th ..."

Hooray!  We're approved!  The next step is twice a week class for four weeks, three hours each class.  This is part of our training both for state licensing and simply being educated.  To make the day even more exciting, our friends dropped off some infant/toddler gear for us.  A huge blessing!  Thanks CW & PW!!!  Now, to get some work done :-) .
 
Two more items on the paperwork agenda.  I'm hoping to have them done to deliver to H&H (agency) on Monday morning as they are near the home of my friend who hosts our Monday morning book study.  Tomorrow (Sunday) I work at the hospital, then we're going to church in the evening, so not much time there.  We need to define our assets - the part about how much are your household items worth always gets me.  It could seriously take months to figure that out if you really put alot of thought into it.  Wonder what I said on the last adoption paperwork?  Maybe I can find it, although that was five years ago.

The second item yet to be completed is the House Rules.  "According to state regulations all foster homes must have house rules available to share with children when they come into the home.  Please fill out a separate piece of paper with your family/household rules."  Good idea.  But, I must giggle when thinking about sharing house rules with 0-2 year olds!

This is where you all come in.  I really need some appropriate, but cute house rules.  Who has a good one?  Leave a comment or send me a message.  Can't wait to hear them!  We're canning pickles later this week.  Maybe the best entries should get a jar :-)