Our first training session was last night and I am exhausted.  It was a great class, but I have this problem.  After evening meetings, my brain is just turned ON.  I cannot get to sleep, even if I feel tired.  I want to discuss; hash it over, share the great points and the frustrations (if any).  I'm sure this drives my husband nuts when I come home from a meeting and he's ready to fall asleep.  At least this time, he was with me, so I have less to report.  In the end, I was up until 3am.  I'm trying to tell myself it's preparation for nights with children who don't sleep the night (which we did for 7.5 years straight, but not often the last two years), however, the cold turkey version of no sleep has left me flat out exhausted.  I really hope I'll be able to sleep after training tomorrow, or I'm in trouble.  I'm also very bad at naps - just can't fall asleep in the day.  The one to two times yearly I can nap, it ends up being a four hour slumber - also not convenient.  Just realized I'm writing about what's convenient for me. Hmm, definitely need sleep to function well, but possibly not looking at this the right way?  A little selfish perhaps?  Got it, God.  Point taken.  I'll push through and respectfully request some great sleep for tonight.

The great news from last night is that the training was really good.  Tuesday is parenting training and Thursday is legal/paperwork/etc.  I'll share more about the parenting training after we get through more, but it's fabulous.  The instructor (who is the developer of the program we'll use and agency CEO), is able to so clearly explain the generalized parenting needs of children who are removed from their original families or experience difficulties.  He put some principles into succinct statements - things I've been trying to express for some time - and I'm so glad to have these.  I really enjoy and am motivated by looking at how kids learn and how fear, frustration, and other emotions aren't expressed by children the way that adults express these emotions (and too often expect kids to do the same).  I'm excited for more and excited to have a place where I don't have to explain that "traditional" parenting book principles just don't work or aren't appropriate for our kids.

We'll receive a "little" more paperwork each Tuesday and are to have as much of it back on Thursday as possible.  FBI background checks can take 3-5 months and this really holds up licensing.  In addition to a full, 3" binder and a 195 page book that will need to be read this month, here's yesterday's additions to the "To Do" list ...

Tuesday 07 August 2012

Online Courses

Monday morning (July 30, 2012), we hurried out the door to Office Max to make a copy of our paperwork packet before my mom's book study (Sally Clarkson's Mission of Motherhood - thanks Sally & thanks CW!).  I knew if we stayed on task we could make copies, drop off the paperwork at H&H and get to my friend's house with plenty of time to spare.  Well, I realized it's been a while since I took our son to make copies.  He needed to know how every little thing worked, the purpose of every button, why the various machines were not the same, and what the advantages were to different copy machine designs.  Been there?  Ever wanted to call for 'no questions', but simultaneously love an inquisitive mind?  Yep.  Answered the best I could (I'm not an office machine engineer) and was ready to leave.  At this point, our daughter, who had been diligently studying the advertising flier, points out a few things.  Backpacks for 1¢???  Must ... go ... look!  It was a Max Perks reward, so you had to spend the money up front and get all but 1¢ back as a gift card, but hey, 1¢, I'm in!  We'll use the gift card up for sure.  The kids' current backpacks are still in decent shape, but I love having different bags for different activities - one for dance, one for swimming, etc.  Saves this mama soooo much time and energy.  We can also pass along their "younger" backpacks to the little ones who come to our home.

Office supply store trip complete, we headed to H&H, dropped off the paperwork and up to my study.  Later in the day, we received an email from someone at the agency.  It stated she had received our paperwork, and asked "if" we are approved, could we begin classes next week? "If"?  Uh oh.  Those of you who know me realize that, at times, doubt creeps in.  I had truly never considered we might not be approved.  I know she had to say that, because, one really does need to be approved, but the little doubter voices kept creeping in.  Now, I'm a million times better at getting rid of self-doubt than I was 10 years ago; even five.  Still, I'm human.  One of the three directors was out of town and a second was leaving Wednesday (August 1), so they had to review our file prior to that.  Whew!  Only two days.

Wednesday afternoon, August 1 rolled around and no news.  I know what you're thinking (as was I) - how do you expect to do foster care if you can't wait without a known deadline?  True.  And I really do get that.  However, this was different (humor me). This was not reliant on the courts or a birth family.  With a director leaving on vacation, if it wasn't completed, we couldn't attend this months classes, and I just had to know.  We aren't able to do all the classes in September due to out of town medicals and participation in a research study, so that was going to put off our start until October.  Not what I wanted.  I was patient [insert applause].  Later that day, I did send an email to ask, given the director's vacation, when we would know about approval so that I could make arrangements for the next weeks' classes should we be asked to attend. (Take back applause if need be).  A few minutes later, I received an email with this ...

"Very happy to report that [name1] (our CEO) and [name2] (program director) have approved your application not only with no reservations, but with great anticipation for the skills and experience you will bring! We will start class on Tuesday the 7th ..."

Hooray!  We're approved!  The next step is twice a week class for four weeks, three hours each class.  This is part of our training both for state licensing and simply being educated.  To make the day even more exciting, our friends dropped off some infant/toddler gear for us.  A huge blessing!  Thanks CW & PW!!!  Now, to get some work done :-) .

Two more items on the paperwork agenda.  I'm hoping to have them done to deliver to H&H (agency) on Monday morning as they are near the home of my friend who hosts our Monday morning book study.  Tomorrow (Sunday) I work at the hospital, then we're going to church in the evening, so not much time there.  We need to define our assets - the part about how much are your household items worth always gets me.  It could seriously take months to figure that out if you really put alot of thought into it.  Wonder what I said on the last adoption paperwork?  Maybe I can find it, although that was five years ago.

The second item yet to be completed is the House Rules.  "According to state regulations all foster homes must have house rules available to share with children when they come into the home.  Please fill out a separate piece of paper with your family/household rules."  Good idea.  But, I must giggle when thinking about sharing house rules with 0-2 year olds!

This is where you all come in.  I really need some appropriate, but cute house rules.  Who has a good one?  Leave a comment or send me a message.  Can't wait to hear them!  We're canning pickles later this week.  Maybe the best entries should get a jar :-)

What is your new adventure?  Paperwork for what?  What did I miss?  Haha, I love when friends have happy surprises, and this week, we got to be the ones with the happy surprise!  It's fabulous!  It is now official, we have embarked upon our journey as a foster family.  Like many of the lifestyles we have taken on, this one has been brewing for years, then, suddenly, the time was right.  To get things started, I'm going to record a bit of a timeline here, so you can see whats been going on behind the scenes, and so that I don't forget!  It's pretty long, but I want to ponder it, even if no one else is interested in reading.  

Note: A.M. = anno mundi = year of the world.

~  4004 B.C. or 0 A.M.                              Creation (you know, 6 days and a rest; everything is made)                 
~  2348 B.C. or 1656 A.M.                         Flood (as in, the big one - Noah's deal)    
~  5 B.C. (+ or - a few) or 3999 A.M.           Christ is born on Earth
~  1960's & 70's A.D. or near 5969 A.M.      Dan & Alli born

-   2000 A.D. or ~6004 A.M. (ok you get the picture)     
                Dan & Alli meet in Ohio.  Life discussions eventually include children by birth and adoption, and maybe much 
                 later, foster care of infants.
-   2002     Dan & Alli marry

-   2003     Time for children.  Adoption takes a long time, so we might as well start on that right away.
                 October - December research, pray, decide International adoption in China
-   2004     February:  Application faxed to agency in Colorado.  
                 The next day, a little girl's photos and medicals are in our hands.  The Next Day!
-   2004     July:  Five months, to the day, of initial application, beautiful baby girl is in our arms.  FIVE MONTHS!

-   2005     Autumn:  Requested files of boys from the same orphanage as our girl.  
                 Agency says no guarantees, but they will ask.  Files not received.  Wait for next batch.
-   2006     January:   Browsing internet groups on adoption.  Here is one that lists files of waiting children.  Subscribe.
                 Next day, see files of three boys from JiangYin at an agency in Mass.  These are the files we requested.    
                 Called.  People already in line for files, but because we have a connection (daughter from the same orphanage), 
                 they will put us first in line.
-   2006     September:    Back in China.  This time, eight months, start to finish.

-   2007 / 2008      Job layoffs and having to sell a house in suburban Atlanta spring 2008 market crash.  
                            Moved across country.  There goes the savings!  Must get rid of some things to move, but I'm keeping 
                            the crib!  Just maybe, we'll be blessed with a child, and if not, I may want to foster.
-   2008 - 2011      Immense amounts of money for another China adoption are just not coming together.  Now what?
-   2012                Pregnant.   Heartbeat gone.   Devastated.   Waiting.   Labor.   April 20th.
-   2012                May: Is it time for domestic adoption?  Met a family who had a foster baby.  They ask us about adoption 
                            and if we are wanting more children.  It's only been a few weeks.  Can't talk about it.  Desperately 
                            praying.
                           May 23: Contact foster agency for information.  Open the newsletter and see the family photo of Alli's 
                            patient.  They just adopted the patient's bio sibling.  (The patient is still in foster care).  Whenever we 
                            have big changes, this is how it happens.  People or situations related to the change just 'appear' in 
                            front of us over and over.
-   2012                Agreed, it's time.  Thursday, July 19  Spoke with Foster Agency and set a time to meet next week.
                           Tuesday, July 24th Group burial with other families. Wounds are fresh. 
                            God, make something good of this.
                           Wednesday, July 25th  Amazing day at home for Alli and kids - best in months.  Great work day for Dan.
                           Thursday, July 26th  Things are new again.  Met with foster agency.  Questions answered.  More 
                            discussion.  It's a yes.  It's time.  Start getting ready, application in next week.  Classes in 12 days.

Reading of others' experiences has always been a help for me.  Decided immediately I needed to record the journey in a way that could involve others.  At least for now, this is the place, the method, the next step.